Exotic Dancers, Romancers, and Cancer
by BrookeSutter
Summary: "I have cancer." She blurted and the entire booth fell silent as they stopped shoving pizza rolls into each other's mouths. The neon sign blurred in the background as fresh tears surfaced in her eyes no longer reading "LIVE NUDE" just "LIVE" as if it were some type of religious omen. Clarke said it once more, "I have cancer..." REVIEW-this is going to be a sad one.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

For the first time in the twenty years that they'd know each other, Clarke Griffin and Octavia Blake were dangerously broke.

Not just broke—both girls could confidently handle _just broke_. In fact, they'd been handling just broke for a long time—no, they were half a pack of Ramen Noodles a night broke. "Reality sucks." Clarke claimed as she threw back a shot of Jack Daniels', wholly grateful they received free drinks at their favorite bar. Alright, Sky Box wasn't a bar, per say, it was technically a strip club with neon signs that read "LIVE NUDE" in bright pinks and blues. The vinyl booths they sat in were probably tainted by sweat, vomit, and other body fluids that Clarke refused to think about—once telling Octavia "_Don't ever let me bring a black light in here." _According to Octavia's annoying older brother, who couldn't really judge them _at all, _they weren't allowed near the club let alone in it.

Fortunately, neither girl had heard from the elder Blake in a solid two weeks ever since the _incident. _Very rarely did Bellamy Blake date, so when he introduced a seemingly shy, seemingly innocent girl—or as Clarke referred to as "victim" because that's what they all became once Bellamy decided he wasn't the commitment type _again—_named Mel, the entire group was beyond shocked. They were all enjoying the perfection of a swanky, high-class bar when Mel piped up and outright insulted Harper. Now, Octavia and Clarke were closer than peas in a pod but Harper was a close friend and neither girl appreciated one of their flock being attacked by a jealous girlfriend, especially a jealous girlfriend who clung to Bellamy Blake the way she did.

So, naturally, because Clarke and Octavia are _Clarkey a_nd _'Tavia _they started an all-out brawl in the fine establishment. Much to Clarke's disappoint, it was Octavia who got the first punch in. They were both arrested, both had to pay bail, and now they were both short on rent but it was worth it because Harper left with her dignity intact. At least, that's what they thought until they saw the eviction notice slipped underneath their door.

Clarke felt bad for her best friend, though. The Blake siblings never fought this long—especially over a girl. This was Clarke's attempt to make her feel better. The girls often attended the club when they knew Bellamy was working and wouldn't be around—not that he was attending much anyway ever since he'd become shackled down by _her. _In truth, they came for the fascinating and most definitely entertaining show. Oh, please the girls were _hot, foxy, and fierce _but their fake breasts and most likely fake noses weren't enough to capture Clarke and Octavia's attention—no, they came to watch their two best friends fumble over the exotic dancers as they shakily poured drinks to perverted men with lacking social lives. Jasper and Monty were not hired for the interpersonal skills. Hell, Clarke didn't even think they'd been hired in the first place but they could pay their rent so they must have some type of income.

Their semi-friend John Murphy owned the club with their close friend Nathan Miller. Murphy was a total jackass trying to hit on the exotic dancers all the time but Nate was sweet to them—Nate tried to help them, tried to make sure they were taken care of while making the big bucks off of their ass shaking moves. They all went to high school together, although Bellamy was far older than the rest of them. It was probably his shady moral compass when they were younger that led Murphy and Miller to own a strip club. He would buy the boys alcohol any time the requested it and would _tell _them not to share with the girls but Jasper and Monty were _suckers. _He introduced them to the lifestyle and it went downhill from there.

Clarke remembered the first time she got drunk and it was Bellamy Blake's fault. She ended up throwing up in one of his boots and making out with Bellamy and his pillow but they never talked about prom night—ever. It was practically taboo. Octavia didn't even know and that was s_aying _something because Octavia knew everything.

"Clarke…" Octavia's green eyes landed on her friend's face after Clarke downed another free shot. Her hands flew across the table to grip her best friend's hand. Octavia had _that look _in her eyes that screamed trouble. "You know I wouldn't ask if it wasn't serious but we are struggling, honey. We are going to lose the apartment if you don't do _it._" God, the dreaded _it. _Clarke had a hefty, half a million dollar trust fund wasting away in a bank. She swore on her father's grave that she would never _touch _the money but as she looked at her friend—her best friend, the only person she could ever truly trust and love she knew that she had to tuck away her pride and do the right thing. They were freshly 21, both going through college and both getting lost in the minimum wage lifestyle they hated.

The blonde fingered the empty shot glass and sighed, "It's blood money, 'Tavia." It was her mother's version of an apology. It was a sorry-I-cheated-on-your-father-for-seven-years, please-forgive-me. Clarke hated the thought of dipping into the money but _they _needed it. For the first time, Clarke's head started to turn with the things they could buy and do with that amount of cash. "But since we have no other options…"

"Well…" Octavia flashed her a grin because she was about to suggest the same thing she usually suggested when the club was ninety percent empty on a Monday evening. "You could probably earn rent in one night here, Clarke." It was strictly a joke but Clarke was drunk enough to take her up on their usual wager. If she swung around the pole for one song, Octavia would owe her a hefty favor. Reasonable. "You wouldn't…" She said in a shocked voice as Clarke quickly tore off her jacket, tossing it to her best friend.

Her breathing became ragged as a hot blush formed on her face. For good measure, she knocked back another shot. "What did you say last night? I need to loosen up." Clarke smirked, then started counting off their current disasters on her fingers. "I just found out my boyfriend cheated on me with that girl from our required pre-engineering class in middle school, we don't have any money because of she-who-must-not-be-named, we're out on bail, I made a 'C' on my Organic Chemistry test, and I'm about to break my moral compass…in more than one way."

Octavia released a heavy sigh before nodding, tossing back a shot and letting out a loud _whoooopppp! _"Jas…Jas!... JASSSSSS!" She screamed, "Put on a good song! Clarke's going to get naked for us tonight, w_hooooooooppppppp, whooooooopppp!_"

Jasper hesitated before breaking into a wry laugh, "_Pour Some Sugar On Me_?" He asked with a raise eyebrow and Octavia nodded her head. Her announcement got the attention of more than one person, though because the usual men started to gather around the available pole. Clarke swallowed hard and tried not to chicken out. Jasper walked up to the mic and announced to the entire club, "And our main attraction tonight is CeCe—" _Nice stripper name. _"—who is not experienced in stripping but may or may not be aware with the process of taking her clothes off. Our blonde vixen needs rent money apparently, boys so please tip generously." Octavia was dying from her closer position, digging loose change out of her purse for the humor of it.

Her friend started the song—the awful 2012 version—and Clarke's palms were sweaty. _What the hell am I doing? _She thought before she started twisting her clothed body. A few wolfish whistles circled her as the light blinded her.

"No honey…" One of the girls called to her, jumping up on the stage. Clarke vaguely remembered her name was Roma. Roma grabbed her hips and told her to simply, "Dance with me." Clarke couldn't remember the last time she was rubbing up against a stranger—if ever. Roma started to take off her shirt and things were getting a little bi-curious when someone's loud, booming voice interrupted the entire show.

Fucking Bellamy.

"What the _fuck _is going on here?" He asked, motioning for Jasper to cut the music. "You aren't supposed to be here—" He pointed to his little sister, "—and _you…_what the hell are you doing?" It was the first time Clarke noticed the stray bills around her feet.

She ignored Bellamy, "Fifty-fifty?"

Roma shrugged in approval, gathering the cash and eyeing Bellamy with a sex glare. She handed Clarke $15, which was $15 she didn't have beforehand and left to go back to the dressing room. "_Clarke!_" Bellamy called to her once more as she stuffed the money into her black jeans. Clarke jumped off the stage on the opposite side of Bellamy convinced that she was going to ignore him. Her eyes finding Octavia's face in the crowd, she let herself feel the high of her actions.

"Okay, I know it wasn't a full song." She told her best friend with a soft giggle, "So can we make it a small favor?"

Octavia stammered, "Y-yeah I guess. Bellamy is looking at you like he's going to either fuck or kill you. I'm not sure if I like either, though so maybe we should make a run for it." Clarke nodded but it was too late. She could feel his breath on the back of her neck. "Shit."

"You aren't allowed here." Bellamy informed them with a strange look, "You just subjected yourself to greasy men for what? A measly ten dollars. Don't you have dignity?" She bit her lip feeling as if she were getting scolded by a disapproving parent. Of course she had dignity but she also had an untamed wild streak.

"Bell, we were just having fun." Octavia tried to defend her actions until she remembered Bellamy was the reason they were getting drunk and acting reckless in the first place. Her facial features tightened and she crossed her arms.

"Fun? Fun is joy riding in your ex-boyfriends car—" Obviously, his definition of fun was not the same as most. "—but taking your clothes off…" He eyed Clarke as if the image was burned into his brain. She knew that look, she kissed that look. God, she almost had sex with that look. "Just get the fuck out of here and don't come back."

Octavia slapped her brother across the face for the last two weeks before turning on her heel. "I swear you ruin everything." Clarke shook her head and let out a harsh laugh. Her finger jammed into his chest, "You didn't bail her out of jail…your sister, your responsibility my ass all you care about is yourself. Mel's a bitch and you're a fucking dick. Why can't you let us have fun? Why can't you leave well enough alone and just stop? We're the legal age to drink. We're both sexually active. We aren't little kids anymore."

He grabbed her by her shoulders and met her eyes, "Octavia and you are my world, Clarke. This place is dangerous and you don't even know the half of it." He swallowed hard, "I'm sorry about the whole arrest thing but I couldn—"

Clarke slapped him across the face just like her best friend did, "You were thinking with your dick, Bellamy. Not your goddamn heart. If we're your world, step the fuck up and act like it. Until then, don't call. Don't text. Don't show up where we are. Don't call Lincoln. Don't call Finn because we broke up but you wouldn't know about that because you haven't been there…either do what you have to do—" dump Mel, "—or don't ever contact us again."

"That's not fair."

"No…having part of you isn't fair. Especially having the overprotective, jackass part." Clarke backed away, mumbling "Octavia's waiting for me."

**Review:**

**Okay, I don't know how well this is written but I want everyone to know this is just an introduction of sort into the Clarke/Bellamy/Octavia dynamic where Bellamy has broken his motto for a girl and has put Octavia and Clarke into a position. The dancing was just a little bit of humor to show off the best friend relationship between Octavia and Clarke as well as their lifestyle and friends. **


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

If anyone noticed her weight loss, they didn't say anything. Most likely, they thought it was a good thing because she'd always been on the soft side rather than sporting the rock hard bodies of warriors and 5K runners. Clarke did not have a problem with her weight because she was justifiably healthy and overall stunningly beautiful. In her experience, which wasn't much, the men in her life liked her curvy body. Clarke placed the end of her black BIC pen in her mouth, attempting to keep herself from chewing on it as she read her Organic Chemistry book. She was humming a classic rock song, her head still pounding from her night at the Sky Box—another night at the Sky Box, she should say because it'd been two weeks since her public argument with Bellamy Blake and she had no intentions of staying away from the club because he _ordered _her to.

Her fingers laced her skin on the back of her neck, easing down as she sought to relieve the built up pressure her body was accumulating lately. After three pregnancy tests, she was positive she wasn't pregnant and her ritualistic throwing up was just a part of her stress. Clarke was exhausted, overdoing herself because she felt the need to. It was difficult to balance academia, insomnia, a social life and an undiagnosed stress disorder. Her eyes flickered to the pink alarm clock; it read 8:41 AM. _Class in three hours, _she thought as if she were going down a checklist.

"Clarke…" Octavia groaned as she stumbled out of her bedroom, her hand running down her face as she took in the sight. Her best friend was hunched over their desk, her hair in a high sloppy bun. The kami she wore showed off her skin but Octavia noticed it lacked its usual radiant ivory glow. "Hey, honey?" The brunette bit her lip because she'd certainly been asking a lot of favors recently. "When was the last time you saw a doctor?" She closed her eyes and waited for the loud sigh of annoyance because Octavia knew damn well when the last time was and she knew damn well that Clarke avoided the doctor's office.

"I see doctors every day." Clarke pointed out. If Octavia didn't love her so much, she would compliment her on her avoidance tactic but Octavia did _love _Clarke with all of her heart so when Clarke wrote off her health, she got angry.

The sound of cups rattling in the cabinets caused Clarke to peek over at her friend but the blonde did not utter a word. She waited patiently for Octavia's witty retort that never came. Instead, she was greeted by a choked confession. "I'm worried about you, okay? I think you're overworking yourself and its taking a toll on your health. Please, just see a doctor."

Clarke was used to the looks in Octavia's eyes; every gleam, glint, and glitter happened to be memorized but Clarke was not used to the look of desperate concern even if she was acquainted with it when Octavia's mom got sick and nearly died. It took a moment and a few fresh tears for her to nod her head and say softly, "I'll go to the doctor, alright?"

_But not my mom. _

"Thank you."

-x-

After some not so gentle probing, the medical assistant mumble something about running a few test. It was Wednesday morning and Clarke was tired. Octavia warned her not to eat any food in case they wanted to draw blood and because she was Clarke, she complied. It didn't matter that her stomach was growling and she was begrudgingly navigating a minor hangover. It didn't matter that she felt like her energy was reduced to a grain of rice or that her car was being stubborn this morning—goddamn 2005 Honda Accord. Octavia was getting her way every second she spent in the private practice and it was eating Clarke alive. But what killed her the most was the worry etched into the assistants face.

He was not a tall man, nor was he very old. His hair was a shaggy brown color and his name was 'Sterling' according to the nametag on his blue scrubs. He was sort of cute but not near her type. She preferred tan skin, brown hair, beautiful eyes—not Bellamy Blake even if her description of a perfect man might include him. It was like she didn't even have to try to think about him. She could be contemplating the masses of the universe and _ding, _her brain would go right to him.

Not because she had some outstanding crush on him. Not because he was her first kiss or the fact that he looked at her sometimes and—no, it wasn't any of those things. She just _thought _about him like he was this untouchable figure in her life that she desperately needed to rescue from himself. Sometimes, her mind would work up these dialogues where she would tell him that she's _there a_nd she's not ever going to leave him—that their friendship means something to her and she wouldn't risk it for anything. Of course, it was all very dramatic due to the trashy television and relentless chick flics she indulged in. The point was there, though. She knew eventually she would have to talk to him about the fight, the argument and where they wanted to go from there.

She knew there was a chance that they wouldn't be friends—even if it felt like they were friends hanging onto a thread at the moment—anymore.

Sterling snapped his fingers to regain her attention. In response, she directed a glare at him but then straightened herself. "So, do you want me to schedule you for an AM or a PM test? It's a lot so I would suggest taking the day off."

"Either or." Clarke sighed, her eyes floating to an Art magazine in the corner. _Damn, what I wouldn't do to be painting right now… _"What exactly are you testing for?"

He sighed, "A number of things to establish a base line with your systems. At this point, we don't have much information but rapid weight loss, lack of sleep, irregular menstrual cycles, sharp pains…they're worrisome symptoms."

"Well, I wouldn't have listed them if—"

The boy ran a hand through his hair, "Don't be one of those patients. Women tend to misjudge their discomfort levels by three points. This could be nothing but it could easily be _something _so we're going to conduct the tests and go from there."

Clarke cleared her throat, "Fine."

_Reviews make me write faster! Thanks for the support, I'm actually really surprised with the feedback! _


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

The last conscious statement she remembered blurting out happened to be, "_I _just love drugs_._"

"_Bellamy! Bellamy! Bellamy! Bellamy!" Clarke called as an innocent child, her hair in pretty ponytails as she ran around the Griffin front yard. Octavia and Clarke were friends from daycare—knowing each other since their first birthday when their caretakers conjoined their birthday parties on account of them being three days apart. Obviously, they couldn't lucidly remember said birthday but they liked to pretend it was possible. There were pictures to prove it and everything. _

_And then she wasn't a four year old anymore. She was seven and still chasing him around the yard. His name falling from her lips once more. "Bellamy…" He was twelve but he insisted on accompanying Octavia on all of her playdates. Octavia was hiding in the tree house and Clarke was trying to defer his attention away from finding his sister. It was her mission and she _always _completed her mission. _

_But then she was fourteen and Bellamy was nineteen and beautiful. They weren't running around the yard anymore. They were at his house and he was casually drinking a beer even if he was below the drinking age. His body was that of a god and Clarke could barely contain her heart when he boldly walked around his living room in nothing but a pair of flimsy boxers. Still, Octavia was in her ear every time she batted her eyelashes in his direction. "He's a goddamn pig, girls climbing through his window left and right. I went to brush my teeth the other night and ran into some whore coming out of our bathroom." _

_She watched as she turned seventeen and he was _there _because Clarke and Octavia always had their parties together. He poked her in the ribs and called her "princess" because of the matching tiaras on their heads. His finger twisted in her curls, made her insane but she was convinced she was going to move on. _

_Then, she was eighteen. _

_And it was prom night and his hand was easing up her thighs and she gasped, "No" because she wasn't going to do it like that. She wasn't going to be with him because they were hitting the bottle and her prom date abandoned her and Bellamy was waiting up all night for Octavia to return with that jackass Atom. She wasn't going to be another 'Window Whore'—maybe that's when she decided she was a lot stronger than he thought. _

Clarke didn't even know what it meant.

-x-

Her hands rubbed together as she finally met her doctor; a woman of high accord. Doctor Tsing, slightly stunning but mostly cold. Clarke was nervous because the secretary said they needed her in as soon as possible. Doctor Tsing crossed her legs and eyed the chart before releasing an uncomfortable sigh, "Pre-med?" The doctor asked and Clarke swallowed hard. She _knew _this strategy—she studied this strategy. "Listen, Miss Griffin…I don't have good news for you which you already seem to know."

"How bad?"

"Late stage Ovarian Cancer."

Clarke sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes tightly. _No, no, no, no, no this cannot be happening. _"Would you mind if I got a second opinion?" Her blue eyes darted to the woman's face, "I don't have a history of cancer in my family and I'm only 21 years old…I really can't…I really, really can't." Clarke recognized the beginnings of a panic attack. "Uh, can I go?"

"We need to talk about procedure…time and—"

"I've only got a few months, right? Maybe a year if I'm lucky. Late stage cancer…late stage ovarian cancer means I'm dying." Clarke stood up quickly, "And if I'm dying, I would much rather not spend any more time here."

"Miss Griffin…" The doctor stood but Clarke was half way out of the door, "I'm sorry."

-x-

It was the longest week of her life.

And yet, the long-ness of it made her seem hopeful. She was dying, right? Limited time and all—maybe she should be grateful her week felt like it would never end. Quickly, she was losing interest in things like Organic Chemistry and all of her other classes. Even faster, she was losing interest in her job. Clarke sighed under her breath as she exited the stupid coffee shop and shoved her hands in her pockets. It was a cold night, maybe she needed a little cold.

Clarke was meeting Octavia and the boys at the Sky Box even if she didn't want to do it. What the hell was she going to tell her close friends? Did they even need to know? Of course they needed to know, of course she had to tell them. _Not tonight. _Lincoln was actually joining them at the club even if he hated the musky smell. Lincoln was a photo-journalist who lived this thrilling life. He went to war zones and posted on Nat Geo and just _lived _so perfectly doing what he wanted to do. So, when he was actually state-side, things were wonderfully in sync. Octavia barely left her bedroom for three days—another reason why her best friend didn't know yet.

She sat before them after a solid ten minutes, playful banter radiating around them like they were children. Clarke sucked in a deep breath, "I'm thinking about taking up stripping full time." Her eyes flickered to each of their faces. It was 4:30 and the club hadn't even opened yet. Nathan Miller was nursing an expensive scotch, Murphy was scowling into the books as he not-so-tenderly drank out of a bottle of whiskey, Octavia and Lincoln were giving each other moon eyes while Jasper and Monty slammed their fingers into each other.

There were multiple plates with pizza rolls surrounding their alcohol beverages. She reached for the food before Murphy finally comprehended what she was saying.

He snorted and took another sip out of the bottle. Murphy was a grade A jackass with social problems but he was still a friend—somehow, "I wouldn't give you a job." He chuckled to himself as he flipped a page and tossed a pizza roll into his mouth. In these moments, she felt like she was still in high school and they were gathered in her living room trying to ignore the fact that neither one of her parents were around. They were trying to ignore the fact that Clarke's dad just died and her mom was spending a lot more time with her mister. They were addressing the fact that they needed each other even if they were too proud to come out and say it.

Maybe that's the reason Murphy was their friend even though he was a dick. He was always there and sometimes there were moments where she could squeeze him senseless. And Miller—god, Miller was something else. He ran really close with Bellamy but he had loyalties with the girls and with Jasper and Monty. Jasper and Monty just wanted to make people laugh even if Monty wasn't living up to his potential according to his parents and Jasper was contagiously single.

"I would." Three heartbeats later, Miller followed up with his objection to Murphy's statement. Nathan and Clarke had this flirtatious relationship that didn't extend pass a few innuendos and cheek kisses. He was a good guy but Clarke thought his heart belonged somewhere else—maybe even on a completely different team than the one he was playing on. "Baby girl, seeing you naked would give me such _pleasure._"

"Dog." Octavia joked and then waggled her eyebrows suggestively, "Although Clarkey does need to get laid. You up for the challenge? Need a goddamn crowbar to break those legs apart!" _You're probably right, dammit. It's been a long fucking time. _

Clarke faked a churchly gasp and covered her heart with her hand, "Are you pimping me out to our baby boy?" Honestly, she felt like she was just playing the part as if she weren't fully committed to her jokey routine.

Nathan moved forward from the sex talk and turned to discuss their long-term age debate, "I am older than both of you by months. Please, ladies." He popped a pizza roll into his mouth and then tossed one to Octavia. Lincoln mumbled something about "Lousy aim."

Laughter overtook their booth as each person practiced tossing food into another's mouth and when Jasper missed her lips by a long shot, she swallowed hard. _Thump, thump, thump…_"I have cancer." She blurted and the entire booth fell silent as they stopped shoving pizza rolls into each other's mouths. Octavia's whole body turned to face hers, her eyes immediately filling with large tears. He could tell that Clarke wasn't lying, although Clarke rarely lied unless she was fourteen minutes away and said she was walking into the door. The neon sign blurred in the background as fresh tears surfaced in her eyes due to Octavia's reaction. No longer reading "LIVE NUDE" just "LIVE" as if it were some type of religious omen. Clarke said it once more, "I have cancer...and, uh, there's not really, um—" Her tears started to fall from her cheeks, "It's late stage ovarian cancer."

So what if Octavia was the only one to understand what she was talking about? "Clarke…" Her face broke out into an ugly cry and Clarke felt guilty for ruining the moment. "I-I-I don't know what to say…"

Clarke shrugged, wiping away a big tear running down her face. "There's really nothing to say, O. I'm dying."

"I need some air." Octavia crawled out of the booth suddenly, Lincoln didn't follow her. He knew when Octavia needed her space.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

_5:19 PM._

Her blurred vision managed to lessen so she could see the time on her white iPhone—a new gift from Clarke ever since she accessed her trust fund. Octavia felt her uneven breathing; a mixture of whimpers and pants escaping her mouth as she fought for some type of composure. _Clarke needs you to be strong for her. _The girl pressed her back against the brick wall, her hair sticking to the textured surface as tears leaked down her face, the droplets of water feeling like razor blades against her cheeks. By now, her well-designed make up was in ruins. _Doesn't really matter in the scheme of things. _Her cold, shaking fingertips ran down her contact list until she found a comforting name.

The alley way between Sky Box and some ridiculous bar that barely got customers. She knew Nathan Miller was considering buying it but that was just casual small-talk three months ago. The boy had money but he was wise about his decisions. Her brother would probably be pissed off that she was _there _but she did not give a fuck about his opinion. _He should have been here, tonight. _Three long rings into her desperate phone call he finally answered, "Octavia?" As if he didn't have caller I.D.

He sounded breathless which meant he was either finishing his run or just finished fucking around with Mel. Under normal circumstances, she would care about it. She hated Mel more than anything. "Bell—Bell—" She could barely get his name out because of her painful gasps. She couldn't remember the last time she called him in such a distraught state. "I didn't know who else to call…" There were so many things left unsaid, unspoken like the silvery words they'd spent their entire life hiding behind. _I just needed my brother right now. _Lincoln was inside and he could comfort her tonight but she needed her big brother to protect her.

They'd been friends for years upon years and now it suddenly seemed to be a weight on her chest. Like, she wasn't just listening to her best friend say that she was going to die soon—she was listening to her sister say that she was going to die. Countless playdates, laughter, fights, memories, and moments swirled around her head like an unforgiving, nostalgic rollercoaster. She wanted to tell her brother to jump in his car and forget the woman listening in on their conversation. She wanted to tell him that she didn't mean to start a fight over Lincoln—that this wedge they've driven between each other ever since she started dating someone he disapproved of wasn't fair to anyone. She wanted to tell him that she needed her brother to save her from the heartache like prom night when Atom tried to go too far. Octavia wanted to tell him that he spent his whole life trying to make things better for her and she desperately needed him to do that now.

Yet, she knew Bellamy's sheer will wasn't going to fix the situation at all.

She also knew standing in the street, the sky darkening around her wasn't helping either.

Her best friend was dying and all the medical research was against her.

Almost on cue, the memories break through a dam and she's thinking about their matching tattoos and how she cooed drunkenly to Clarke on the back of a boat during the Shrimp Festival "_We're going to look badass when we're 80, trust me!" _or how Clarke told her when they were 18 that she just really wanted kids one day and she knew it was irrational to want one _then _but every time she held a baby her heart just lurched—and how she repeated the statement when she turned twenty and realized she had so many years ahead of her in loneliness. Now, she would never get that chance. And Octavia thought fondly on the moment she realized her best friend was in love with her brother and how he felt the same and how she's been _patiently _waiting for one of them to make a move for ages.

How they were supposed to have _time. _

They were supposed to graduate medical school together and work at the same hospital…there was a plan. Clarke had all these goals and lists and sketches. She was going somewhere and after school she planned to take off to New Orleans, Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, Charleston and somewhere in France.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt? Where are you?" It was his usual list of question. Octavia could hear him shuffling around and the faint pleas of Mel begging him to _just hang up the fucking phone_. Octavia bit her lip, considering jumping into Clarke's car and making a bee-line towards that bitch. No, she couldn't just disappear but she considered it a couple times before she settled on staying with Clarke. It really wasn't that hard of a choice but beating Mel's ass right now was an enticing thought. "Octavia!" He called to her after she didn't respond.

Octavia wiped her eyes, "Clarke has cancer, Bellamy and it's not curable because it's in a late stage." She was surprised how calm her voice sounded when delivering the news. It was her future doctor voice. "I know she's not going to call you right now…I know that she's going to wait around until she can't stand the thought of you not being there but Bellamy…we don't have that kind of time anymore." _Just tell her you love her. _


End file.
